tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4914229340178768617.post3816820085632922607..comments2019-06-28T17:23:47.712+12:00Comments on Adelei's Learning: As the sun came outPowerful Learners in Room 7!http://www.blogger.com/profile/09573781755387874599noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4914229340178768617.post-83865892711055302622013-06-05T10:25:58.773+12:002013-06-05T10:25:58.773+12:00To Mrs Head
I might proof read it at home tonight...To Mrs Head<br /><br />I might proof read it at home tonight.<br />Why is new zealand the first to see the sun?<br />Did you know megan is really scared of the dark.<br /><br />From AdeleiPowerful Learners in Room 7!https://www.blogger.com/profile/09573781755387874599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4914229340178768617.post-62107022294294652013-06-03T09:03:08.057+12:002013-06-03T09:03:08.057+12:00To Adelei,
Great job and I like how you have used ...To Adelei,<br />Great job and I like how you have used the idea of the sun setting in different parts of the world at different times. Did you know that New Zealand is the first to see the sun?<br />I have got an unanswered question with your story. As a reader I am left wondering why Megan is so scared of the sun going down that she has to chase it around the world.<br />From Mrs Head<br />PS: Don't forget to proof read your writing. You have got worm instead of warm. I wouldn't want to sleep in a worm hotel!Amazing Room 9https://www.blogger.com/profile/03145448018612673094noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4914229340178768617.post-23920055153548432702013-06-02T11:07:56.930+12:002013-06-02T11:07:56.930+12:00Hi Adelei
Great writing!
I like the start of your...Hi Adelei<br /><br />Great writing!<br />I like the start of your story where you introduce the character and a little bit about her personality.<br />You have told us lot's of detail about the character Megan. <br />Can you proofread your writing for me and check the spelling of "worm" and your use of exclamations marks.<br /><br />From Mrs NatuschMrs Natuschhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18013424966017899740noreply@blogger.com